Saturday, July 19, 2008


I'll admit it. I buy the Oprah magazine. The articles are sometimes informative and there are always good book reviews. If Ellen had a magazine, I would buy hers instead.

This month's O magazine had an article about the "negativity receptor" in women and how our brains are actually designed to make the horrible stuff about us easier to believe in our own minds than the good stuff. Need more proof that God is a man? This explains a little bit about me.

Also, in another article, a woman wrote "If enough people love you, those ones that don't won't matter." These two articles together brought me to the realization that the reason I need everyone to like me is because I am afraid that those that don;t will convince those who do that I am, in fact, unliakable. This happened in 6th grade, so i proof that this can actually happen.

My entire life has been shaped by my horrible junior high experience and the evil ways of Jodi marshall, Erin Murray (co-leaders of one evil ring) and Annie Hogan - who invited me to slumber parties so that the rest of the guests could make fun of me. A human pinata. Since junior high girls are lemmings - follwoing one moron off the cliff of moral ineptitude - everyone else went along with the class so THEY wouldn't be the one mocked.

So now that I have come to that realization, how to get over it? I guess just realizing that my fear of other people's influence will leave me friendless is a start. How many "people who like you" are "enough" though?

1 comment:

naomic3 said...

Oh, baby: you only gotta have the SANE people like you, because the rest are f*ckwads. And I'd like to say that when people grow up, they stop that human pinata thing, but we know they don't. I guess the best thing to realize is that most of the turn-someone-against-you bitches are quite obvious, and if you have only a few quality friends, that's a whole world in itself. Hey, I tried for years to make other people (read: Tom and his family) like me and appreciate me because I was afraid to be alone. I think now that I like myself a little more, I don't mind so much that I never won Everybody's hearts and minds. A vicious circle, yes, but your first step is to close your eyes and repeat after me: "F you, Naysayers. I Am Fabulous!" Lather, rinse, repeat.