Tuesday, December 11, 2007

The Toddler is Kicking My Ass

My 2-year-old is kicking my ass. Both literally and figuratively. He is in the midst of that existential crisis known as the Terrible Twos. And he, admittedly, is a very spoiled two.

Having decided from the word "go" that he was going to be our one and only, the child has wanted for nothing. Not toys, love, attention or Laurie Berkner videos. As a result, he has become my own personal Veruca Salt. "He wants the world. He wants the WHOLE world..." Oh, and he wants it NOW. And God help the poor bastard that doesn't give it to him immediately. They get the crap beat out of them.

Mostly, that is me.

I have tried holding his hands firmly, looking him in the eyes and saying a firm, loud, "NO." I have tried time out. I have tried yelling and I have even tried hitting back in a moment of weakness and desperation. None of this is working.

Daycare says he isn't a hitter there. Just me, Osi and the poor dog, Frannie. I guess the saying "We always hurt the ones we love the most" is true, unless, of course, this is his way of saying he would like a new family because he hates his current one. Fine with me, kiddo, I'm not so keen on you these days, either.

It is frustrating and demoralizing to be smacked dead in the face repeatedly by someone you would stand in front of a bullet for a million times over. I am at my wits' end and am out of ideas. You've seen what I've tried. What are your thoughts? Any ideas?

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