Tuesday, December 25, 2007

It Isn't Christmas Without an Altercation

Wow, we don't even put the FUN in dysfunctional anymore. I believe everyone the world over knows of my dislike for my brother's girlfriend Anna. I use the term "waste of space" affectionately with her. But at least I keep those feelings to myself at Christmas.

Not The Drama Queen.

My sister was determined to start something this holiday season, so the night baby Jesus was born is just as good a time as any. She started with her speech on gratitude, telling John that Anna and the girls has better show some this year. John said he would talk to Anna and the girls about it.

(Now, I was the one who had the beef with that last year. The fact that they stayed with us for a few nights, we went out of out way to accommodate them and got the girls - whom we had never met before - some pretty good loot was cool, until none of them uttered a word of thanks. That irked me, which is why the whole lot of them were in a hotel this year.)

Oh, but this was not enough for Hurricane Melissa.

When John and Anna went out for a smoke, Anna's youngest girl got into a tad of mischief (nothing horrendous) and Melissa took it upon herself to take John to task on the fact that one of them should be in the house at all times to watch the kids. This sent john over the edge. John over the edge is NOT a pretty thing. He is like my dad. Slooooooowwwww burn then KABOOM!

Needless to say, John and Melissa wouldn't be in the same room for the next hour, which put ME over the edge. I delivered a speech to everyone in the house that went something like this "It is Christmas, dammit. I don't care what was said or to whom. Get your shit together and be merry, goddammit. Now, you have five minutes to collect your thoughts, get your asses upstairs and have a merry Christmas. I am done having Christmas ruined."

I believe this is the point where mom and dad decided a) to go home a day early and b) to go to Florida next year for Christmas.

Fine by me. I plan on converting to Judaism by then. When the rabbi asks me why now, I'll just tell him Christmas put me over the edge this year.

Hope all of yours was better.

Ho ho ho, dammit.

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