Thursday, January 29, 2009


I was in New Orleans this past weekend for a Sisterhood conference. Everything about it was nice. I traveled with a friend, we ate good food and learned interesting things. I came back with good ideas. However, being a realist, I realize that these are ideas that mat never get implemented because I am already over committed within Sisterhood, finding a job, at home at trying to plan this bad reunion I should have never signed up for.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Osi did an adequate job at keeping everyone alive. It was his first time being alone with Jack for an extended time. We did a test run this summer while I did an overnight run with my sister and cousins in northern Ohio. When I returned on Sunday, the house was not a complete disaster and both Osi and Jack were dressed.

Every now and again, I think every mom goes through the "I am so not appreciated" blues, and I am having one of those periods now. I am not the best housekeeper and I will readily admit it. But I do try to keep the clutter to less-than-my-mother's limit, dishes out of the sink and the bathrooms usable by company. I don't think guests have ever been blatantly grossed out by our house. (If you have please don;t publicly burst my bubble here.) I cook most nights - including preparing 3 days worth of baked ziti for when I was out of town. Osi does do the clean up when I cook, and vice versa. Still, most of the honest-to God child-rearing (bathing, teaching of manners, feeding, medicine administering, etc.) falls to me.

How will this work when I go back to work? How will I keep up all my other obligations when I have a 40 hour per week job to add to the mix? It scares me and makes me sad to think about it.

We're beneath a good (or bad?) 8 inches of snow today. Thus the title of this post. Jack came home from school Tuesday with a horrible cough that kept me up most of the night that night. It was much better yesterday and he slept through the night last night (aside from the usual 12:30 are-you-there-mommy? check in). However, he was up at 4:22 am. I SOOOO want to send the little bugger to school this morning, but the cough seems to be back. What to do?

I NEED sleep or I am GOING TO SNAP. Sending him to school exposes him to other kids, which is not fair to them or their parents. Though, I must admit, if I were working, he would be going to school today and i would be going to work.

Some days I feel like this whole motherhood thing was just a snow job. Some hours, literally, I am thrilled to be doing it. And some hours - say, like 4 am this morning - notsomuch. The scales thus fa are tipping to the positive. After spending the weekend with someone with a 16 year old boy, though, I fear the future.

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