Meanwhile, in the American Gothic...

While Naomi was out chasing a BOB and trying on fetish-ware, we drove to Lancaster to try out the new children's space there. Lancaster sure seems like a long way to go for a water table, a laser harp and a playhouse with a working doorbell, but is WAY less overwhelming for both Jack and his parental units than COSI.

AHA for Kids (A Hands-on Adventure) held Jack's interest and didn't overwhelm him. Also, and this is very important in our world, there are NO ELEVATORS and very few doors. For $5 per person it was all the fun we could handle. He loved it and we loved watching him love it. Not to mention that the 40 minute drive door-to-door killed some time on a dreary Sunday. We got to listen to Justin Roberts.

Speaking of Justin Roberts, HE ROCKS! Kid's songs with great lyrics sung by a guy with a very James Taylor quality to his voice. Also, he happens to be playing a concert next Sunday, April 6 at the Columbus JCC. You should totally check it out if your kids like music at all. It is $6 per kid and $12 for adults. Info here. Not sure if we are going to attempt it. One hour is a long time for Jack to go without leaping up and NEEDING to close that door.

Waiting for The Other Shoe

This has been a weird week. A sad week to be sure.

Over the weekend, my good friend Mel received a call that her mom had fallen, broken her hip and had been found unconscious. After several tests at the hospital, doctors found her body wracked with cancer - brain, breast, cervical and then a mass on her spine. To make a very long, sad story short, we are burying Mel's mom tomorrow in Toledo. By the way, the is Mel, who is about 6 months pregnant with her first child.

Secondly, Naomi had to very unexpectedly say goodbye to Attilla. This is the second canine family member in the last 2 weeks that I have had the pleasure of knowing, but who has gone to the Great Dog Park in The Sky. While Frannie's begging is more annoying than ever, she certainly has been cuddled (against her will, I might add) more in the last two weeks. I know her time will come and it makes me very nauseous to think about it.

They say bad things happen in threes. Naomi thinks my trio of bad news is complete with the passing of Mel's mom, Attilla and Snoopy. But I still feel like I am waiting for the other shoe to drop.

There has been so much misfortune and sadness surrounding us throughout the last year that I can't help but wonder: When is it our turn? When will all the good karma run out and the bad karma that I believe is stalking our family closely, catch up with us? There seems to be drama and calamity on both sides of the family, and with our friends. How are our seas calm? I don't trust it and it makes me really irrationally fear Jack's testing.

I'm not superstitious by nature, but I do believe in karma. Our has just been too good lately.

Satan Himself May be Living in My Lungs

I am the world's third worst patient. The first being my BIL Harvey, God bless him. He is not in good health, but even when he was in relatively good health, he was 60 going on 98 and prone to bouts of moaning in agony over a hangnail. Second, I believe, would be mu husband. It's not that he is a horrible patient, he is just very frequently "not feeling well." Conveniently, on the weekends.

So the World's Third Worst Patient has bronchitis and I have also developed a sinus infection. At least 75 minutes during the middle of every night since Friday has been spent trying to release the demon possessing my lungs. This does nothing to help the sinus headache.

Enough bitching.

I am now officially addicted to FaceBook. Can't even tell you why, other than there are a few cool applications/quizzes you can partake in, groups to join and it is generally a good way to stay in touch with people you don't want to e-mail regularly but don't want to lose track of either. You should try it. Everyone is doing it. That's right. I am a FaceBook pusher.

Room Mom for a Day...or, Y'Know...an Hour

Happy Purim! What, you don't know what Purim is, you Shiksa Goddess, you? Far be it for me to compare it to Halloween for the little Jews in our lives, but there are definitely costumes and sweets. It is the celebration of the Book of Esther (look it up in the Old Testament). Long story short, she whores it up to save the entire race. Tell me again how this is a kids' holiday?

At any rate, it apparently is. And, as I mentioned before, it involves costumes and, at Jack's school, a parade. So when I took Jack in this morning, I stayed to help out in his room with the parade and (the popular thought was) to bake cookies. I helped get kids dressed, helped lead them into the gym and then stayed for gym class. Jack was a sobbing mess for about 60% of my time there. How dare I let Emmet have the ball that Jack wanted? Well, 'cause Emmet had it first, m'dear boy. That, apparently, is some form of Mommy Treason.

I did manage to sneak a few twirls of the hula hoop with Sam, a few rocks of the seesaw with Delaney and Emelia and a few slides down the mat with Aaron and Matthew in between carrying Jack around. I did get to see him be interactive, which was good, but he was always checking for me out of the corner of his eye.

So, after returning to the class for the morning snack, one hour and 10 minutes into Room Mom for a Day, I bolted. I am such a wimp.

Mini Rain Man, OCD or None of the Above?

Have I mentioned yet today how much Jack loves doors? No? Well let me take a moment to touch upon it, 'k?

Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Open. Close. Waaaiiiilll.

That gets us through the first set of doors into Jack's school.

There are three sets of doors to get through to get us into his classroom.

I have a friend who seems convinced that J falls somewhere on the "autism spectrum." Because she has a friend who has a kid who was recently diagnosed, she has urged me more than once to get J tested. My mother's instinct tells me autism isn't it. I say he makes fine eye contact and is very loving. This particular mother and friend "reassures" me that her friend's pediatrician says those are no longer predictable markers of autism on the broader spectrum. While I am sure she thinks she is being supportive, this kind of talk is driving me to a level of unprecedented (in my case) mom-panic. Unfortunately, her life and mine are seemingly forever intertwined, so I grin and bear the advice.

OCD seems a more likely diagnosis, since Jack will repeatedly - some might say obsessively - shut doors. Once He's decided that he has had enough of a certain door and allows himself to be pried away, he will, more often than not - if the door is in a public lace - run back and shut the door AGAIN (compulsively, perhaps?). It's like his world is not OK until all the doors of the world are shut tight with no hope of ever being opened again. What the hell is that about?

Or, it could just be a weird and completely focused toddler phase. Jack is pretty OK with the rest of his life. Doesn't line things up or sort things by color the way I am reading that other OCD kids do. He is pretty particular about routines, but what toddler isn't? In general, he is a pretty silly, generally happy kid.

Nevertheless, we have an appointment with the pediatrician on Friday. Updates to follow.

Untitled - A Whole Heap O' Crap

Let us begin withe the good news: We have been bite-free at the JCC for three whole weeks! I guess the squeaky wheel DOES get the oil (or the personal baby bodyguard, as the case may be). I don't care what they are doing, as long as Jack is safe.

We are still have a really hard time with doors, though. Drop-off has become increasingly difficult, what with having to wend our way through three sets of doors to make it inside the classroom. Jack usually wants to shut every door at least 7 times. Literally. We have an appointment at the Pediatrician on Friday. Notsomuch worried about autism as I am about OCD. If he is fine, could they please, for the love of CHRIST, medicate ME?? Because the door thing is really driving me out of my fucking skull.

In other news, I have been thinking lately of expanding the last year's-worth of Blog posts and turning them into a funny kind of essay book for working moms looking to become stay-at-home moms for the first time. The title would be "So, How Are You Doing...?" or maybe, "So, What Have You Been Up To...?" or the ever so popular "So What Do You DO All Day?" Subtitled "One woman's look at going from consummate professional to professional mom." I don't remember seeing any books out there warning me what the transition was going to be like. If so, I certainly would have read them to prepare myself.

Some people happily fall into motherhood. I think Erin is one of these people. I recall her saying that she has been really in love with her boys from minute one. I love Jack, but I struggle with motherhood on a daily basis. I think this because before he came along, I really did define myself by my career. I was really very good at it any people told me so frequently. Motherhood I suck at pretty profusely on a regular basis and nobody EVER tells you that you are a fantastic mom. Not even the motherfucker (literally) that got you that way. Whew. Glad I got THAT off my chest.

Anyway, I am thinking of writing a book.

Also, I will be returning to work full time within the next year. We've made the decision together. Jack has transitioned pretty nicely to the JCC and 2 more days won't be that much more of a transition. It is time. I am looking to go back into association work because, as I mentioned, I was pretty damn good at it. Only time will tell how slick and speedy that old "on ramp" is going to be.