I have lately been obsessed with my job search. It is coming up on a year of seeking meaningful, long-term employment. The cloud of desperation has parted a few times in the past few months, to reveal what I should actually be focusing on. How truly blessed I actually am (Yes, it is going to be one of THOSE posts).
In spite of the fact that nearly everyone warned us that "three is worse than two) when it comes to The Toddler, he has been a particular joy lately. He is just the most loving, funny kid. I'm not sure there is anyone on earth who enjoys silliness, tickling and laughing as much as our son. Jenny, bless her, was the only one who said that once E hit three, she was having a fantastic time. I have to agree with her. J has come into his own and I marvel daily at what an actual person he is. When did he develop a sense of humor? Opinions on fish ticks and tomatoes? The ability to lie about farting?
After talking to a close friend with a 16 year old, I want to keep Jack right here, right now forever. I want to keep the kid who doesn't want to go downstairs on Saturday morning to watch cartoons, but would rather snuggle in bed with mommy for a half an hour instead. I want to forever keep the kid that, for no reason, grabs my hand and tells me "I hold hands Mommy. I wuv you." I want to keep the tiny, falsetto voice who sings "Baby Mine" and "Hey Jude" - word for word - with me on so many nights before bed. I've stopped wishing for "when will he be potty trained?" and started wishing for time to stand still.
I have mentioned my group of friends here before. This group of fantastic people who make me laugh until I literally pee a little. These good souls who have offered encouragement, hugs and advice. Oh, and I asked earlier "how do I get a kid like that?" It turns out there is a book! A book most of them have read (1,2,3 Magic...reading it now) that will actually help me raise kids as fantastic as theirs! Amazing. I literally thank God every night for these people. No irony there, since I met them all through temple :)
Then there is the Cashmere Mafia. These are the girls who have come and gone, moves through zip codes and area codes, boyfriends and babies and have all come back to me. I say me, because they are my angels. These are the girls I can call at 3 a.m. in a crisis and who would be packing a bag saying reassuringly "I am on my way." We don't see each other as often as we'd like, but the Girl's nights are my treasured oasis, where I can say anything, give true opinions and they love me anyway.
Finally, there is The 'Wald. The man has the patience of a saint. I am a handful. A moody, sarcastic, passive-aggressive handful at my worst. Most days, he takes it in stride. Ours is not the storybook romance or public displays of affection, but it is the comfy "Hey can I grab that deodorant while you're on the potty" kind of contentment. It works for us the vast majority of the time. Osi is a good dad and incredibly supportive. He loves me when I can't stand myself. I'm grateful he kept pursuing me after I told him - many times and in no uncertain terms - that it wasn't gonna happen. Again, the patience of a saint.
So I'd really like to help Jim Croce find out how to put Time in a Bottle. Yesterday was a pretty good day - I'll take that one, please.