My friend Sandy used to have the unfortunate job of "talking me off a ledge" when I worked at the Society. It was a task she performed dutifully, extraordinarily well and, sadly, alarmingly often considering that we worked for a not-for-profit.
Since I've been home for the last three year, the job of ledge-talking has fallen to my mom. Not that Sandy (also know to many as "Tata Snappy") has been demoted, she is just an awesomely suave gal who has not yet spawned, so her experience in the realm of the toddler who had actually pushed me to the edge was limited.
I am getting ready to re-enter the workforce. A leap that has me both excited (Daily adult conversation! Mental stimulus beyond matching socks! ) and terrified (How will I function on "the outside" with my new priorities? Am I doing the right thing? How many ways can one woman fail in a lifetime?). I just celebrated my 35th birthday and I think it is high time I become my own ledge-talker. More like Loony-whisperer, really. I tend to get inside my own head and whip myself into a neurotic frenzy about, well, nothing.
I have a second interview with COSI on Monday for the position of Development Writer and Editor. I have already been besieged by the Dark Uglies, telling me I have no chance at this job because I have never written a grant proposal in my life. (whip, whip. Frenzy, frenzy!).
I have also just completed a job application for the position of "clerk" at the Bexley Public Library. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Really, I can't even fall back on the whole "sexy librarian" think that bimbo Palin has going on, because that would require "sexy." I have "frumpy librarian" down pat, though.
So here is what my life has been boiled down to. I've gone from running a statewide volunteer program with a budget of hundreds of thousands of dollars and managing two full-time staff to questioning if I have the qualifications to stamp books at the library. Being a stay-at-home mom really can crush you, if it weren't for the things like cuddling the Jack this morning under a warm blanket in our jammies and eating homemade rice krispy treats. Those are the tiny moment I have to hang on to. Those are the moments that will eventually become my ledge-talkers.