1. Cousin of Smarmy was down this weekend. This only made me wish she lived here permanently. Not in my house, mind you, just in town. (While I love you, Nik, I think we are old enough to have a need for our own spaces.) After a trip to Smith's for an apple cider slushie that she swears was every bit as good as I promised (OH, if only we had had fried Twinkies, too!), we ventured to The Circleville Pumpkin Show. We drove 25 minutes south of Columbus to sit in 90 minutes of traffic to walk around with 50,000 of our closest friends and look at some gigantic gourds. Well, now we've had THAT experience. I am so very glad that Nikki came and I need to go visit her next.
2. My sister is FINALLY divorcing that life-sucking, blood-letting nothing of an asshole she mistakenly married 6 years ago. She announced this the week of my birthday. Happy Birthday to Me! Remember how in my "Things about me" blog post, I mentioned there are some people that - should I see them on the sidewalk - I would attempt vehicular manslaughter? This motherfucker is now number 1A on my list. He is just taking up oxygen at this point and is a complete waste of carbon. I understand that God does not make mistakes, but this is certainly NOT one of his best efforts.
3. Girls' Night Out is IMPOSSIBLE to plan and this is frustrating the bejeezus out of me. We all say (or the majority of us, anyway) say how much we really, really, want to make time for each other. Then we schedule ourselves so insanely full or crap (myself included) that we have to plan 2 months out just to have dinner. I hate this because some of the commitments are bogus (mine included). We seriously need to re-prioritize if we are going to repossess any morsel of our sanity, ladies. This means you (and me).
4. Have I mentioned I'd like to run over my soon-to-be ex-brother-in-law with a dump truck? Oh, maybe I have.
5. I need to learn that going to the Columbus zoo in the morning, pre-nap is a really, really bad idea. The Toddler then falls asleep for the 20 minutes it takes to get home and awakens during the car-to-bed transfer and refuses to go back to sleep. This makes for a cranky toddler and even crankier mommy. Either the zoo is a pm trip or I just give up on naps on those days. (This is the sound of me banging my head against the wall. I was gonna SHOWER today, dammit!!!)
6. I spend way too much time on Face Book. I am unashamed to admit it and I find it fascinating. You should too. Like salads, everyone is doing it.
7. I am truly dreading going to the Sisterhood opening meeting tonight. Thank God Almighty for Mel, who will be there suffering with me. I plan to eat my fill of "a hearty soup" and then get the hell out of there. The attendance numbers are LOW, which makes me feel like a putz, because the idea for the program was mine. I feel personally responsible for the failure of this program, thus the dread.
8. I had really vivid and bizarre dreams last night. Two of the three of them had me calling to someone "Wait for me! PLEASE!" What does that mean? Also, Michelle Obama apparently interviewed me for the COSI job and, in another bizarre turn of events, I was on a 3 person swim relay team with two of my high school friends. The third dream had me managing a carnival ping pong game with former boyfriend and full-time knucklehead, Ben. What the hell?
9. A garbage truck would also work for the crushing of ex-B-I-L. Just a thought. And probably a more appropriate vehicle anyway.
10. I applied for a job with the Greater Columbus Arts Council yesterday. I thought the title of the job was hilarious, so I applied. It was "Festival Organizer/Receptionist." Columbus has a nationally-recognized Arts Festival here every year. It involves about 300 artists, live music, performance art, etc. It really is top-notch. SO, apparently, some of my time would be spent organizing this fantasmagorical festival. Apparently, the rest of my time would be spent answering phones. I thoroughly expect to see a "Bee keeper/mechanical engineer" position posted soon.
So, those are my random thoughts. What's new with YOU?