Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Time to Bust Out the Bikini - It's March!

Ohioans have a complicated relationship with our weather. When it hits 50 degrees in March, we start wearing shorts. When it hits 50 degrees in November, we turn on the furnace and drag out the parkas.

Another thrill of being a Buckeye? The tail end of cold season dovetails nicely with the beginning of allergy season. I still can't tell you if the congestion in April is from a lingering sinus infection or the beginning of allergies (yes, I KNOW nothing has bloomed yet. Please note the sarcasm.).

In February, you cannot find a pair of gloves in any local store to save your life, but if you need a string bikini fr Valentine's Day, Columbus is the place to find it.

Let us discuss snow for a moment, shall we? Granted, we do not get as much as Buffalo or Cleveland. However, we DO get enough each year to a) be prepared when it is coming (The White Death!) and b) know how to deal with it when it gets here.

Allow me to clarify: "Prepare for it" does not mean stripping the local shelves of bread, milk and eggs (apparently, Ohioans crave french toast when it snows). It also does not mean canceling events 48 hours before the snow is supposed to hit.

Now that the sun is out, after, I swear, a month of gray days, we don't know what to do with ourselves. Teenagers are showing more skin walking to school than I do at the beach. I actually saw a lawn crew mowing last week. People. Please. I implore you, just buy your mulch at the local BP station and wait it out.

Spring is upon us. If it is March in Ohio, it must mean sprinklers and kiddie pools! It will be 57 today. I guarantee I see some nimrod in shorts. People, pace yourselves. I cringe to think what you'll be wearing in August if March is shorts weather.


Shannon Baskind said...

Another excellent post, and I have to agree. I have lived in many parts of this great land and, while most have been in warmer climates, I have never seen such a love/hate relationship between locals and their weather.

I wonder if it has something to do with the large number of people who live here, but are originally from elsewhere? Hmmm....

Oh, and in my own defense, I wear shorts year-round, which I believe takes me safely from the realm of "nimrod" into the land of "dolts."

But I do NOT wear sandals and flip-flops in cold weather. Those people are just ridiculous. ;-)

Jessica said...

I notice the flip-flops more than anything; if there is no snow (but you can still see your breath) people start whipping these babies out. Frostbite be damned, full speed ahead. I myself can't wear them - issues with the thong chewing the flesh between my toes into hamburger. Ah, yet another fashion jauntily passing right by my bewildered (read: what's the big deal and could I GIVE less of a crap?) countenance. I'm in a "excuse me, YOU'RE not going to tell me what I like" point in my life. The mad flailing about of the fashion industry just baffles me. I appreciate the creative aspect of it, but once you leave the art it seems like a black hole of drama and money. Think how many hungry people we could feed if they spent those thousands on aid rather than garments they'll wear once and discard. Okay, rambling done - this was like a journal entry for the day.