I Stink.

No. Literally. I am emitting a foul odor at this very moment. This is one of the reasons that I hate being hot. One of the reasons that my husband, lovely as he is, will have to retire by himself in Florida, while I retire to frigid Maine or maybe San Diego, if we happen to bed=come independently wealthy soon. I hate exercise and gardening. Both things usually involve sweating. (Gardening because it is done outside in nature, another thing I am not so keen on. I am an indoor Zimmer.)


So this morning I got it in my head that I was going to pull weeds and mow the lawn, because it was below 80 degrees for the first time in months. Ha ha. Nature got me. (Probably because of all those nasty things I say about it, and right in front of its face, too.) I managed to weed the cracks in the front of the driveway and mow the front yard, but as soon as I moved 'round back, Nature jack up the head to, like, 86, so I am sweating my tuches off like Richard Simmons sweatin' to the Beach Boys. So now, as I type, I am sporting the lovely au du gasoline and BO - oh so attractive. But hey, my yard looks goooooood.


So, yesterday was so bad it was - by the end - laughable. Jack has his three year pictures scheduled for Saturday. I thought I would get his hair cut because he is getting shaggy. Cookie Cutters has always done a really nice job. Yesterday, apparently, Betty the Butcher was on the job. I have no idea how a haircut can make a fine looking child seem like trailer trash, but this haircut accomplished just that. I actually put a little hair gel in it this morning to see if it would help.


After that, we went to the doctor's office, because Jack's allergies have been really bad. It turns out that, like Mommy, his allergies have a tendency to turn into sinus infection. Poor kid. We found this out after we were kept waiting in the office for 45 minutes. That seems a little ridiculous to me.


OK, so, we have dinner and Osi has a brotherhood meeting and I have sitter connection interviews, so Shayna comes to babysit. All is well there. I have 5 interviews scheduled, of which exactly 2 show up. Now this day is starting to get funny.


On the way to my interviews, I had dropped of Jack's prescription ant CVS. I told them I would be back in an hour. It is now 2 hours later, I am already 5 minutes late to take Shayna home and CVS has not yet filled my prescription. Of course not! Why would they have? They are in on the big fat joke that was my day!


You know what? I think Nature had something to do with this!