There is a noise coming from my toddler that emanates straight from hell. It is guttural, it is frequent and it is annoying as shit. I used to think that the screech was the worst sound he could make. Oh, silly Mommy. Silly, deluded, only-partially-deaf Mommy.
Jack made this noise not only in the car today, but through four different furniture stores in two separate trips. What can I say, we're gluttons for punishment and on a mission for a new bedroom set. I believe that, upon leaving the last store, I dropped him from about three feet in the air straight into his car seat. This, at least, stopped the noise long enough for him to register some surprise. Alas, the noise began once again with a fury. But - and sadly this is a relief - quickly turned into normal toddler sobbing that Mommy is a Meanie. Yeah, you know what? I AM a Meanie sometimes. Especially when Satan himself is in the back seat trying to wrestle the last bit of intelligence out of my brain with that GOD FORSAKEN NOISE!
OK. All better now. But mostly due to the intervention of Sandy, my single gal-about-town friend who just called and simply suggested duct tape to remedy the entire problem. I laughed hysterically, maniacally even, and now I think I can be a better Mommy.
Until the next noise materializes.
Jack made this noise not only in the car today, but through four different furniture stores in two separate trips. What can I say, we're gluttons for punishment and on a mission for a new bedroom set. I believe that, upon leaving the last store, I dropped him from about three feet in the air straight into his car seat. This, at least, stopped the noise long enough for him to register some surprise. Alas, the noise began once again with a fury. But - and sadly this is a relief - quickly turned into normal toddler sobbing that Mommy is a Meanie. Yeah, you know what? I AM a Meanie sometimes. Especially when Satan himself is in the back seat trying to wrestle the last bit of intelligence out of my brain with that GOD FORSAKEN NOISE!
OK. All better now. But mostly due to the intervention of Sandy, my single gal-about-town friend who just called and simply suggested duct tape to remedy the entire problem. I laughed hysterically, maniacally even, and now I think I can be a better Mommy.
Until the next noise materializes.
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1 comment:
But the MOST annoying noise happens when they're verbal and in the store and you're in a hurry and they see something they like. "But I waaaaaaannnnnnnttttttt it! Can I haaaaaavvvvveeeee it? Nooooowwwwwwwww!!!!" Makes you seriously consider duct tape, earplugs AND valium.
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